On holding back

Earlier this week I took a 48-hour solo trip to triangulate Saint Louis, Nashville and Indianapolis with the goal of having some good open road time, catch two concerts, and do a lot of wandering. While in both places, I enjoyed a lot of great food and great mural art. The one in this week’s thumbnail is from Nashville, as I was walking down Church Street to the riverfront.

If you know me at all, you can easily see that holding back is an action I do not struggle with. If anything, overcommunicating, overexplaining, and oversharing is my fault. If you search for quotes on holding back, you will find many which encourage you to not hold back. I could take this confirmation bias and say “See! I shouldn’t hold back!”

But like so many topics these days, I’m trying to flip it around and see what I find on the other side.

What are the benefits of holding back?

• Not overinvesting - in people, ideas, or ventures - too early.

• Not overburdening people with information before knowing their capacity to handle it.

• Not robbing yourself of the beautiful unfolding of a story.

• Not speaking words from a place of emotion that, with a cooler head, you would never say.

How can we know when we should go “full bore” versus hold back? I believe it’s to practice the pause.

Take a breath. Ask one more question. Request to revisit something.

Is there a topic, person, or situation that you wish you had practiced the pause? Is there a concrete action that works for you to do this in the future?

Be well, beautiful people.